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Getting A Great Seat On Southwest Airlines Without Engaging In Fisticuffs With Other Passengers
o you want to fly for a first, THEN, starting with about
dollar on Southwest, but row 5, if they see a person
you’re tired of sitting in sitting in that row they head to
the middle seat, at the back of the back, searching for a better
the plane, smelling the restroom seat! I HYPOTHESIZE (like a
sanitizer spray? Yes, THE SECRET scientist) that they can’t see
isn’t some law of attraction, the back until about row 9, and
it’s getting a good seat on an then it’s too late to do that
“open-seating” flight. After salmon swimming upstream move, so
flying on gazillions of Southwest they’re stuck. Park it in rows
planes, touring as a corporate 5-8, where one person is already
comedienne, I’ve figured it out! sitting, and there’s a really,
Here are ways to raise the odds really good chance that the
that you’ll get a decent seat middle seat will stay vacant.
too. BONUS TIP. . .I’ve even noticed
(ahem, studied) that people fill
IF THE PLANE ISN’T COMPLETELY up the LEFT side (as you’re
FULL AND YOU’RE IN THE “A” OR “B” walking down the aisle) first; so
LINE. . . you of course want to you should sit on the right side.
get in a row where the middle
seat stays empty! Sit in a row that already has one
person in it. . .
Sit in rows 5 through 8. . .
If you sit in an empty row,
According to my unscientific there’s the chance that TWO
research of watching people traveling together will
people-patterns (no lab rats sit next to you.
involved), I’ve noticed a
people-pattern. Passengers tend Sit in a row with one person in
to fill up the front couple rows it. . .where the overhead bin is
FULL. . . One of ‘em will move over to be
near their honey, and you’ll get
Most people have a carryon the an aisle or window even though
size of Kansas, with all sorts of you’re a “C” person. Brilliant!
valuable toothpaste that they
have to sit near. So if the bin Sit behind the exit row. . .
is full, they’ll keep going! You
of course checked your luggage, If you’ve got a short (like 30
so you’re a free agent to sit minute) flight to a hub city like
underneath the bin-filled seats. Phoenix, and you’re not changing
If you have a carry-on, make sure planes, but rather going on to an
you sit in a seat where your bag even longer flight, sit in the
fills the bin up. This is a good row behind the exit row, even if
time to have a bag the size of it’s the center seat. Chances are
Kansas. the exit row people will exit at
the hub and you can move up.
IF ALL THAT’S LEFT ARE CENTER BONUS TIP. . . Don’t wait for the
SEATS BECAUSE YOU’RE A “C” flight attendant to let you move.
PERSON. . . you still might avoid Do it while everyone is getting
the “C is for Center seat” fate. off the plane (just make sure
you’re seated for their
Look for people who match, with headcount!). And NEVER sit in the
an empty middle seat in-between row in front of the exit row . .
them. . . . those seats don’t recline.
Twin Budweiser T-shirts or the IF THE PLANE IS DEFINITELY GOING
same Harley tattoo means they’re TO BE FULL. . . you can still
probably traveling together. have a decent ride.
Eureka! Start to sit in THAT
middle seat, because, guess what? Hand pick your partner. . .
You’re gonna be stuck with Bolt for the exit row. . .
potluck if you aren’t proactive
and make eye-contact with If you’re one of the first people
desirable people. Lure them in in the “A” line, check out the
with a quick smile and show them exit row immediately upon
that you’ve got a book, which is boarding. Many, many people only
the universal travel sign for “I think to sit up front, and forget
won’t bother you with my about the great leg-room in those
chatter.” Of course YOU define seats. I’ve gotten the exit row
“desirable”. . I’m tall, so I’m being 20th or later in line!
looking for small people who look
like they bathed. BONUS TIP. . Check in 24 hours in advance. . .
.As you’re waiting in line,
memorize the first person in the Even if you’re in a hotel and
“C” line. When the “C” leader can’t print the boarding pass,
starts through, you’ll know it’s you can check in, and then print
time to get serious with your the actual pass at the airport.
“come hither” looks. (FYI if you print your boarding
pass on your printer, look at the
BONUS, BONUS TIPS. number at the left hand bottom.
That number is the number you
A bag on the seat does not mean checked in at - I’m #1 lots of
someone is sitting there. . . times!)
Ask, ask, ask because that person Take the first flight out in the
is being rude, rude, rude. They morning. . .
could be trying to hog a whole
row by pretending the seats are Because the plane is there, it’s
full. not coming from somewhere else,
so you have a better chance of an switch seats by handing him a
on-time flight. AND no one is barf bag and telling him (loudly)
sitting in the prime seats, like to “use this when you get sick.”
the exit row, from an earlier The person next to him switched
flight. seats with her. Hey, use what you
got! Here’s to more comfortable
Of course a friend of mine who travel. . .for a buck!
was split up from her son, got to
About the Author:
Jan McInnis, The Work Lady, is a corporate comedian and comedy writer who has performed at hundreds of private events, flying Southwest A LOT. She was recently featured in the "Wall Street Journal" as one of the "popular convention comedians." Jan also sells comedy material to radio & TV daily, and she can be reached at http://www.TheWorkLady.com
Read more articles by: Jan McInnis
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