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Serengeti Safari Memories And Miscommunications
he scene before me could jeep, driver, cook, tents, water
be matched nowhere else on (though I felt it best to bring
earth. Parched yellow grass my own) and park permits, were to
spread out before us as far as be provided for us as part of our
the eye could see - broken only safari package.
by the occasional umbrella tree
and a few hundred thousand WILDLIFE ABOUNDS
migrating wildebeest forming a Five days of photographic heaven
dusty, thin gray line on the followed. Tanzania's best: Lake
horizon to the north. As the sun Manyara, Ngorongoro Crater,
pounded down from overhead, heat Olduvai Gorge all were our
vapors danced up from the ground. playgrounds. Each was an oasis
This was the Serengeti - a place offering its own unique landscape
with no equal! and unimaginably diverse
wildlife. Finally, as I looked
Nine days earlier my six-year-old over the edge of Ngorongoro I put
son, Jerry, and I had arrived in my camera down. No photo could do
Arusha, a beautiful Tanzanian it justice. Those who do not
‘metropolis' and the main venture there will just never
jumping off point for those know! All this grandeur, and
wishing to book budget safaris. still the place of my calling,
As with all visitors, the word of the Serengeti, was ahead. This
our arrival spread like wildfire. was the safari I had dreamed of.
By dinner the first night, three
of Arusha's tour operators were An inconspicuous signpost in the
courting us. By breakfast our middle of nowhere marked our
journey was booked. arrival at my 14, 763 square km.
field of dreams. We had four days
Two days later we were off. to spend in the Serengeti. Yet,
Nothing was left to chance. A within twenty minutes giraffes
galloped past in their magnificent beast was obviously
slow-motion way. Playful zebras oblivious to our presence. His
danced in dust storms of their bed, a gigantic reddish brown
own creation. Nearby, lionesses termite mound standing over three
lovingly groomed playful cubs. feet high, could easily have
This life long fantasy achieved slept two more.
was all laid out for our film to
capture. What more did we need? FRUSTRATION MAKES AN APPROACH
Inspired, and thirsty, it was
I know we needed a drink of time to go forth with the courage
water. I reached, I looked, I of that lion and consume the
counted, one! There was one mystery water. Thomas, my driver,
bottle of water alone in its box. was a spotlessly tidy, smartly
Next, I added. Two people, six dressed, obviously well washed
days out, three days left, 13 and well-watered fellow. As I
bottles of water gone. I approached, he flashed his
suspected a flaw in the plan. perfect smile and asked what I
With little choice, I needed. Water I replied. Thomas
begrudgingly surrendered the last looked ‘off.' "Ninataka maji ya
bottle of ‘good' water to my kunywa" I tried. (attempting
progeny. I would drink the Swahili for I need drinking
questionable water provided by water) Ah, Thomas replied, "Maji
the safari operator the rest of hapana" (meaning no water). I
the trip. Why not? After all, It tried English again. We still had
was a safari. no water.
An hour later, still roasting in I am sure my body temperature
our jeep, we photographed an rose five degrees as I tried to
incredible golden lion as he figure out why Thomas had not
lazed in the mid-day sun. This brought any water from camp that
day. Then, it rose another eight and the cook shook their heads
degrees while I tried to figure ‘no' and looked at me as if I
out why he did not need to drink was crazy for thinking anyone
anything. Oh well, we would soon would have water in the bush.
return to camp where I would Didn't I know I was on safari?
indulge in all the beige colored
water I could ever hope for. I Not being parent of the year, I
decided to tough it out. Se la took my sons water - some of it
vies. We were on a safari. anyway. We put the rest away for
morning.
As evening approached, we relaxed
in the shade near a water hole. CONTEMPLATING THE SITUATION
The sweet sent of cool water I sat grudgingly at dinner
filled the air. The emerald green watching my son, my driver and my
pool shivered ever so slightly cook, all laughing together on
with each twitch of a hippo's the man side of the camp. As a
ear. When the sun sank low, the zoologist, I knew they had to
parched orange horizon beckoned have water, didn't they? Just how
for one last snapshot. It was stupid did they think I was? Then
time our crew headed for camp. the questions swam through my
mind. How could we stay out here
Meanwhile, back at the camp, our nearly three more days without
cook had dinner ready and any more water? What happened to
waiting. Before the Jeep stopped the water the Tour Company agreed
my door was open. I approached to send? What did the cook cook
him parched, "maji ya kunywa?" I with? How was Thomas staying so
said. He responded, "maji freaking clean? If I killed my
hapana." "I mean water," I offspring and took his water, do
regrettably snapped. "You must they extradite me or would I
have some to drink!" Both Thomas stand trial in Tanzania? And,
just how stupid did they think I ask of cheetahs and such. As they
was? spoke, I eyeballed this
magnificent looking man who
That night I sat by the fire leaned against the front of our
under the most brilliantly lit jeep.
sky I have ever seen. I sat
speaking to Thomas, explaining His long, twisted strands of hair
that Homo Sapiens consumed water. were red with ocher and draped
It was a necessity! It was a elegantly down his perfectly
fact! He didn't buy it for a built back. He wore the
second. Ultimately, I gave up. I traditional red Maasai fabric
told my crew we would have to that was slightly tattered. In
return to Arusha the next day. his right hand was a spear,
Had I been alone, I would have pointed at both ends. In his left
risked death by dehydration for hand was the less traditional
one more day, but the PTA frowns orange Fanta. Yes, I did a double
on this sort of thing. Obviously take. It remained an orange
annoyed by my insane whims the Fanta. Thinking back, I recalled
guys turned in. droplets of condensation. I was
sure it was cold. I could not
The remainder of the night was even come up with H2O, well
dedicated to reflecting on days enough a refreshing sugary
past, on our incredible beverage. Was I hallucinating?
experiences and on something else Was I even on safari?
- something odd. The previous
morning while we drove through a VANISHING THROUGH THE BUSH
dust-ridden wallow, we had The sweltering heat of morning
approached a Maasai Warrior came all to soon. Breakfast with
walking barefoot through the thick condensed milk, missed the
grasslands. Thomas pulled near to spot completely and reconfirmed
my decision to leave. The cook found primate friends. After all,
and I began to pack up camp. I was still on safari?
Jerry and Thomas (Tom and Jerry?)
wandered into the bush together Half an hour later the guys
long before the work was finished emerged from the bush, talking
- surprise! Whenever, I started casually as they slurped on their
any project the men tended to strawberry Fantas. My mouth
fade into the trees. In fact, dropped. Jerry nonchalantly
completing the task at hand, I pointed off behind them as he
realized my moisture-retaining passed and asked, "Mom, why
chef had vanished. An hour later didn't you came to the soda stand
no one had returned. with us? You could at least have
gotten some bottled water." I
I was guarding our waterless stood defining dumbfounded! Were
belongings from a troop of they slurping away each time they
misschevious baboons and could vanished? What was a soda stand
not go in search of my three doing in the middle of...? Why
self-osmoting delinquents. hadn't someone just said it
Besides, If the men perished, it was...? Ah..? Was there a Denny's
would prove to them my theory in there as well? How silly of me
that they needed water to live. to have expected them to mention
Ha! I would be vindicated! this. Auuuuuug! Hadn't I realized
Ritchesness would prevail! Thus I was on a safari?
instead, I sat filming my new
About the Author:
Zoologist turned satirist Nola L. Kelsey is the author of the scathingly wicked satire Bitch Unleashed: The Harsh Realities if Goin' County. Kelsey's ezine, Wanderlust Ink, tracks her escape from South Dakota normality to life as a shoestring backpacker in SE Asia. Receive the Bitch Unleashed e-book free at http://www.nolakelsey.com.
Source: www.isnare.com
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