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Sophie s Voice
t should have been clear Did the woman really know what
from the very outset after sort of Pandora’s box she was
Sophie, our train manager opening I mused to myself. After
welcomed us all aboard the all to anyone with even the
London-bound Eurostar from Paris slightest smidgeon of sophistry,
that this was not going to be a Sophie’s was an incitement to
regular, uneventful trip. There full blown pedantry.
was something just a little too
sing-songy in her tannoyed Dangerous territory indeed,
“bienvenue”, wishing us a particularly as the burning
pleasant journey and volunteering question on my lips that morning
to answer any questions we might - after I had been roused from my
have had, to augur any thing slumber by the dawn chorus, - was
other than premonitory why do cuckoos cuckoo? And nobody
misgivings. But those were easily had as yet been able to provide
ignored. me with a reply.
Although it’s generally meant as Staring out at the scenery as we
a polite yet ultimately hurtled through northern France
meaningless platitude, such an at a mighty 300km per hour, I was
invitation awakes the pedant in mulling over the possibility of
even the most mild-mannered seeking out Sophie to find out
traveller, especially one with a whether indeed she had any idea
low concentration threshold, and of the answer. But before I could
to whom questions spring to mind give it another thought, the
which would tax the genteel train unexpectedly ground to a
patience of the undoubtedly halt.
delightful Sophie, even if she
were a Saint. Now the Paris-London Eurostar
trip is something of a modern
marvel. It only takes two hours with two changes of trains.
and 15 minutes to complete the
around 400km trip, city centre to So when the unscheduled stoppage
city centre. That’s thanks was followed-up moments later by
largely to the British finally Sophie’s dulcet tones, a warning
having got their act together bell rang out.
after more than a decade to build
a new high-speed track running in She informed us ominously that
to St Pancras. the train had not yet been
cleared for entering the tunnel –
From 1996 until November last exactly the same explanation that
year, the trains used existing had eventually been offered to
lines into Waterloo and after passengers of that 12-hour
zipping through northern France, marathon. In fact Eurostar’s
the Eurostar would then trundle operators, must have learned
along the remaining 90kms the something from that incident,
other side of the channel at an because Sophie promised she would
embarrassingly almost 19th get back to us with more news as
century speed. soon as possible. The lack of
information had been one of the
Thankfully that’s all been major criticisms levelled at the
confined to the pages of history, company back in April.
although the recent opening of
the new link hasn’t been without And sure enough, moments later,
its hiccoughs. Just last month she was on the tannoy to say that
passengers from London to Paris there had been an “incendiary
spent a night discovering the incident’ – obviously
joys of low speed travel on the Eurostarspeak for a “fire” - in
high-speed link when the journey the service tunnel, and the train
turned into a 12-hour nightmare would be held in position until
cleared to go through – estimated prove such a point, an initial
to be around 50 minutes. call to those waiting to meet me
at the other end, resulted in my
More insincere platitudes discovering that according to the
followed but delivered with such notice board the train was still
heartfelt apologies that clearly scheduled to arrive on time.
Euroastar must be doing something
right in its recruitment policy Time up and waiting over, the
for train managers. And then we incendiary incident appeared to
left with deafening silence. be under control and we were on
our way again. Minutes later our
The seconds quickly yawned into train manager piped up to confirm
those promised 50 minutes with that we were moving – just in
murmuring passengers wondering case we had had any doubts
why the train hadn’t been stopped presumably. “Attagirl Sophie,
at a station rather than in the there’s nothing like telling us
middle of nowhere. At least then what we wanted to hear and
the nicotine-hungry would have already know.”
been able to pop out for a quick
cigarette break or others could Sadly the sing-songy note had
simply have stretched their legs disappeared from her voice to be
in the fresh air. replaced with a slightly
embarrassed tone and the offer to
Ah no, obviously Eurostar contact her if connections had
couldn’t possibly know what was been missed. The implied and
happening further down the line fervent hope seemed to be that
as the hopeless lack of passengers wouldn’t prevail too
communication had proved back in much for the proffered
April – especially in these days information.
of instant messaging. And if to
As the train pulled into St and not to offer us any
Pancras just 70 minutes after it compensation.
had apparently already arrived,
Sophie was back on the tannoy for Thanks Eurostar, and thank you
a final time to thank us for our Sophie. And by the way, why do
understanding – as if we had been cuckoos cuckoo?
given any choice in the matter –
Published At: www.Isnare.com
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